Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Mourning and other electives

I just read Lauren Winner's Mudhouse Sabbath. Winner converted from Judaism to Christianity a decade ago, and this book sums up her observations of the differences in similarities of the two religions. That is, she talks about some of the practices that are common to both religions - prayer, fasting, weddings, burials, hospitality, etc. - and explains why she thinks Judaism does those things better than Christianity. That sounds presumptuous and judgmental, but Winner explains it all quite nicely, despite the fact that she seems to use the book as a venue to show off her vocabulary. She really just says that Christians have belief down (I would hope she thinks that, since she is now a Christian), but that we're lacking in the action department. She talks about the strong and ancient Jewish traditions that provide the Jewish community with a continuity, a faithfulness, and a sense of identity.

Winner goes on to recognize that Christians are not meant to practice the same disciplines - or at least, not the same intricacies of the disciplines - that are required of Jews. Not only are we not bound by Levitical law, but we also owe no allegiance to rabbinical rules, the huge list of detailed "clarification" of the Law. There is great freedom in following Jesus, in abiding by the new covenant. Perhaps, though, Winner seems to suggest, we have thrown the baby out with the bath water by abandoning the actual practice of so many disciplines. We still talk about them and preach them, but they are not always lived out, in solitude or community.

For example, Winner talks about burials. Both Christianity and Judaism have rituals associated with death (there are many variations among Christian denominations). We both have a service of some kind, we both bring food and flowers and comfort to the bereaved. But in the Jewish community, the process of mourning is not only allowed - it is required. There is a seven-day period of mourning, a month long period of mourning, a year long period of mourning (each period requiring different actions), and thereafter the dead are intentionally remembered each year on the anniversary of their death. Rigorous? Yes. Healthy? I think so. Christianity has, in recent years at least, brushed over mourning. We can grieve on our own, in private, for as long as we'd like, but it is uncouth to mourn publicly for more than a few weeks after a loved one's death. Why is that? The closest thing we have to an extended period of public mourning is a support group. Support groups are great, but they should not replace the church.

I don't think this cavalier attitude towards mourning has always been prevalent in the church. Until recent decades, it was common for mourners to wear black clothing for a period of time and to disengage from social activities. There were wakes and graveside services and plaques attached to the pews where the loved ones used to sit. And those things still happen in some Christian communities - I don't mean to make a blanket statement covering all of Christianity - but they are not as commonplace as they used to be. I wonder what happened? I think that it is important for Christians to realize that we do have the assurance of seeing our fellow believers again; death is not the end. But somehow we have turned that hope into a Pollyanna attitude of nothing but sunshine all the time; we have taken away our own privilege of mourning. And I think we are worse off for it. There is no opportunity for God to turn mourning into dancing if we insist on dancing from the beginning.

This isn't a great Advent post; it would be better reserved for Lent. But it is on my mind today, having just finished the book, and so I share it with you.

2 comments:

Bob said...

It's probably less of a "Christian" thing than a cultural thing. You note it used to be a lot more common for everyone to do more elaborate mourning. Since Jews, especially orthodox Jews, do a better job of holding themselves apart from the secular culture than most Christian communities, I would say they probably aren't as influenced by the changes as Christians in general are.

Holly said...

Good point, Bob. I think you're probably right. Another friend made a similar observation recently, saying that Christians really don't stray far from secular culture in many areas.

Also, Blogger didn't see the need to email this comment to me, so I was unaware of it until now, February 14. Sorry about that.